Mom Thoughts

My maternity leave is coming to an end and it has been an amazing experience. At once, it seems to have gone by quickly and to have lasted a long time. I can hardly remember a world without Ellis, and I look at pictures from two months ago the same way I view prom pictures -- I remember that time but only distantly. Still my leave is ending too quickly.

I never thought I'd consider staying at home with my kids, but I totally get it now. Watching Ellis figure out what a mirror is feels a bit like changing the world -- her world. She makes me reconsider the way I see everything.

But I am going back to work full time. I am excited and miserable at the same time. When I am at work, I am absorbed as long as I'm busy. And when I'm at home, I can't imagine being anywhere else.

Next week, we enter into the nanny world just as Ellis has realized who her parents are and has started showing a preference for us. Of course. It is going to be a tough week or two. Though I know it will be OK, I am sad that this stage is over. I am sad that when I am at work I will no longer be able comfort myself with the thought that tomorrow I'll be with Ellis all day.