Mom Thoughts, Part 3

Being a parent messes with you physically and mentally. Physically: my body is in crazy shape. Many parts are smaller than they were before I got pregnant. Breastfeeding lets me eat what I want and still lose weight. But I still have a mushy stomach and (sorry to our more delicate readers) my breasts are huge. I have had to rethink the types of shirts I wear -- v-necks seem suddenly bordering the obscene. Bathing suits are a nightmare. To fit my chest, it is either built for a much bigger woman overall or someone with implants looking to show them off.

Mentally: First, my brain no longer works. Maybe it is sleep deprivation, though Ellis sleeps pretty well. If she wakes up at night, it is once and for 10 minutes. But she has started sleeping from 8:30pm to 6:30pm without interruption. Maybe it is trying to do too many things (work, family, etc.). But whatever it is, I can't keep a thought in my head for more than 30 seconds. It is like I have access to only a tiny portion of the brain I am used to, and I didn't start with a lot to spare. Second, I am a sap. I mean a sap like my mom (sorry, Mom, but you know it is true). I cry so much easier than ever before. I just checked on Ellis, who is asleep, and teared up because she is so damn precious. [I won't even get into what happened watching the coverage of Tim Russert's death. It is awful that we won't have his analysis through this historic election season. And my heart is broken for his wife and son.]

In other news, today Ellis and I visited the day care center that she will start attending on the 24th of June. When we first placed her with a nanny, it was partially because we couldn't find a day care center with an opening and partially because I thought that such a little thing would need a lot of individual care. I feared she would be overwhelmed by day care. But it seems I was wrong. She was in heaven with the other kids and the lovely ladies who run the infant room. She had the hugest smile on her face the entire time we were there. Admittedly, these ladies exude calm and kindness. But it was more than that: Ellis likes lots of activity and she gets it there. At first, I am guessing she will find it hard to nap for fear of missing out on all the fun, but after a few weeks she will settle down. It is going to be a good fit and so much closer to me at work so that I can visit her at lunch.