Advice I have to Remember
There are two pieces of advice that parents regularly need and I actually know how to handle those issues -- now. But I will forget, and probable soon. So I am writing it down. It is advice on how to deal with a fussy infant and how to potty train.
1) Fussy, Colicky Babies
There are fussy babies and their are reflux babies. More often than not, it is not colic but reflux. If the baby is fussiest after eating and arches his/her back and/or pulls off he breast a lot during feedings, this is reflux. Lots of doctors don't think of it or call it colic. But it isn't. It is an under-developed sphincter muscle at the top of the stomach that allows stomach acid to bubble up. This causes the baby's chest to burn after feedings. Adults who have reflux call the pain very painful, so imagine what it is like for a baby. It is typical for babies to show symptoms starting when they are about a month old, and it often gets worse until 5 months, at which point it starts to clear up. Most babies outgrow it between 9 and 12 months.
The treatment is Zantac. Parents should not fear medicating a baby for reflux. I waited with Ellis and all it did was put her through unnecessary pain. It isn't fair to the kid and can cause them to eat less and have trouble gaining weight. This is not the place for anti-medication stands. Three things to know about Zantac: 1) some kids do better on Prilosec or on a version of the drugs compounded without alcohol, meaning you have to find a pharmacist that does their own compounding; 2) it takes 2 weeks to build up in the baby's system and work fully, so don't give up after a few doses; and 3) as the baby gets bigger so does the dosage. This can make a big difference after a little weight gain -- for example, at 12 pounds the dosage is 1 cc a day, but at 13 pounds it is 1.5 cc twice a day.
Doctors will suggest formula or rice cereal in the milk, saying it will help to hold the food down. This is the biggest load of (excuse the language) horse shit ever perpetrated. Seriously. It might hold the food down and prevent spit ups, but it does nothing to hold down the acid. Plus, formula is made with cow's milk, which is usually a big irritant.
Other good things to do: mom should cut dairy for a while and see if that helps. Nuts and eggs might be an issue too. I cut all three with my AA and slowly reintroduced them to figure out the culprit. It was milk and cheese. But I can get away with one serving a day.
Also they say burping helps. I think that is crap. But it does help to hold the baby upright at a 45 degree angle or more for between 10 and 30 minutes after feedings to let things settle. I would let Ellis sleep on my chest with me propped up. This let me snooze too. AA only needs to be upright for 10 minutes, so I just stay up with him.
Whether reflux or not, swaddle! I have a friend who kept her baby in a miracle blanket nearly 24-7 for 4 months. Another friend let her son sleep in the car seat to keep him upright and let her get sleep too. Doctors will warn against all of these things, but both can be done responsibly. And sleep is essential for the baby's brain development -- and to avoid depression in the parents.
Also hair dryers can be calming. It imitates the sound of blood moving in the womb. There is also a hold that helps: tummy down on your chest (especially skin-to-skin) or across your arm. If you are awake, the baby can nap on his/her tummy. But you have to be there to watch them.
2) Potty Training
The biggest help was daycare that taught us how to do this. They Ellis assigned to a potty-trained older kid in her class. Every time the big kid went to the bathroom, they took the little kid. This older child must be no more than one year older. Any older and the potty trainee will consider them out of reach and not try to intimidate them. But if the kid is not in daycare, go find a cousin or friend. Nothing socializes a kid like another kid.
There are also were scheduled potty times throughout the day when kids have to sit on the potty whether they do anything or not.
Other things that seemed to work was calling it "making bubbles." I have no idea why. They also had more absorbent underpants that they recommended (http://www.pottyscotty.com/) which catch small accidents but made a kid uncomfortable if there was a big accident. Some believe that diapers are so good at holding moisture away that it makes things too comfortable and convenient for kids to use, meaning they won't try to use the potty for longer.
At daycare and home, we used "sleep diapers" at naptime and bed time, and used "travel diapers" when they went out. The kid is in underwear when at home or in the center. It actually took pretty quickly. As she got good at noticing when she had to go to the bathroom, we started venturing out without a diaper. We also got a kids potty that plays music when used. Ellis got very excited about that.
1) Fussy, Colicky Babies
There are fussy babies and their are reflux babies. More often than not, it is not colic but reflux. If the baby is fussiest after eating and arches his/her back and/or pulls off he breast a lot during feedings, this is reflux. Lots of doctors don't think of it or call it colic. But it isn't. It is an under-developed sphincter muscle at the top of the stomach that allows stomach acid to bubble up. This causes the baby's chest to burn after feedings. Adults who have reflux call the pain very painful, so imagine what it is like for a baby. It is typical for babies to show symptoms starting when they are about a month old, and it often gets worse until 5 months, at which point it starts to clear up. Most babies outgrow it between 9 and 12 months.
The treatment is Zantac. Parents should not fear medicating a baby for reflux. I waited with Ellis and all it did was put her through unnecessary pain. It isn't fair to the kid and can cause them to eat less and have trouble gaining weight. This is not the place for anti-medication stands. Three things to know about Zantac: 1) some kids do better on Prilosec or on a version of the drugs compounded without alcohol, meaning you have to find a pharmacist that does their own compounding; 2) it takes 2 weeks to build up in the baby's system and work fully, so don't give up after a few doses; and 3) as the baby gets bigger so does the dosage. This can make a big difference after a little weight gain -- for example, at 12 pounds the dosage is 1 cc a day, but at 13 pounds it is 1.5 cc twice a day.
Doctors will suggest formula or rice cereal in the milk, saying it will help to hold the food down. This is the biggest load of (excuse the language) horse shit ever perpetrated. Seriously. It might hold the food down and prevent spit ups, but it does nothing to hold down the acid. Plus, formula is made with cow's milk, which is usually a big irritant.
Other good things to do: mom should cut dairy for a while and see if that helps. Nuts and eggs might be an issue too. I cut all three with my AA and slowly reintroduced them to figure out the culprit. It was milk and cheese. But I can get away with one serving a day.
Also they say burping helps. I think that is crap. But it does help to hold the baby upright at a 45 degree angle or more for between 10 and 30 minutes after feedings to let things settle. I would let Ellis sleep on my chest with me propped up. This let me snooze too. AA only needs to be upright for 10 minutes, so I just stay up with him.
Whether reflux or not, swaddle! I have a friend who kept her baby in a miracle blanket nearly 24-7 for 4 months. Another friend let her son sleep in the car seat to keep him upright and let her get sleep too. Doctors will warn against all of these things, but both can be done responsibly. And sleep is essential for the baby's brain development -- and to avoid depression in the parents.
Also hair dryers can be calming. It imitates the sound of blood moving in the womb. There is also a hold that helps: tummy down on your chest (especially skin-to-skin) or across your arm. If you are awake, the baby can nap on his/her tummy. But you have to be there to watch them.
2) Potty Training
The biggest help was daycare that taught us how to do this. They Ellis assigned to a potty-trained older kid in her class. Every time the big kid went to the bathroom, they took the little kid. This older child must be no more than one year older. Any older and the potty trainee will consider them out of reach and not try to intimidate them. But if the kid is not in daycare, go find a cousin or friend. Nothing socializes a kid like another kid.
There are also were scheduled potty times throughout the day when kids have to sit on the potty whether they do anything or not.
Other things that seemed to work was calling it "making bubbles." I have no idea why. They also had more absorbent underpants that they recommended (http://www.pottyscotty.com/) which catch small accidents but made a kid uncomfortable if there was a big accident. Some believe that diapers are so good at holding moisture away that it makes things too comfortable and convenient for kids to use, meaning they won't try to use the potty for longer.
At daycare and home, we used "sleep diapers" at naptime and bed time, and used "travel diapers" when they went out. The kid is in underwear when at home or in the center. It actually took pretty quickly. As she got good at noticing when she had to go to the bathroom, we started venturing out without a diaper. We also got a kids potty that plays music when used. Ellis got very excited about that.
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